10 Sure Fire Ways To Make Sure You Don’t Get Any Writing Done | Topher Harless
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10 Sure Fire Ways To Make Sure You Don’t Get Any Writing Done


There is nothing worse than starting to write and actually getting something down. Personally, I prefer to distract myself with a million different things to make sure that I don’t accomplish anything. I mean, why write when you can catch up on shows that you’ve been meaning to watch or petting your dog for a weirdly long amount of time? Being productive is vastly overrated and here are ten awesome ways that I’m intentional about not getting my daily writing done. 

1. Watch a movie you’ve never seen before while you write

Writing with a movie on that you’ve seen before can just turn into white noise and help you get in the zone. No way Jose. You need to turn on something you’ve never seen before that intrigues you. Preferably something so complicated that you have to pay absolute attention to it. This will really help make sure you don’t even know what you intended to write in the first place.

2. Blame everything on your significant other

Hey! Don’t judge me! I didn’t get any writing done because I don’t get enough time during the week with my girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/partner/orgy. I only see them every night and I need to get in quality time with them by watching tv and not actually speaking a word to each other. I’m in LOVE man! Keep your judgey “I’m an actual writer on TV because I work hard” attitude to yourself.

3. Check your social media accounts obsessively

This one is a no-brainer. My friends are actually succeeding in their careers and how will I see how successful they are, compare myself to them, and be horribly upset with my own life if I don’t regularly check Facebook??? 

4. Clickbait

Nuff said.

5. Find reasons to continually get up and eat

There’s food in your house that NEEDS to be eaten. What are you going to do? Let that food go to waste? That would be irresponsible of you. Oh, and once you have that food ready, you can’t write and eat. Just watch one or nine shows while you finish up that tuna sandwich. 

6. Call your family

You know that if you call your mom or your sister, you’ll be on the phone for at least two or three hours, but you have to, right? They want you to call and staying in touch with family is important. Sure you could do it any other time, but NOW is when you’re thinking about it. 

7. Go to a live show

LA is filled to the brim with improv, sketch, late night shows and plays that you could be at. You can literally watch ten shows every night back-to-back if you wanted to. Why make your own content when you can distract yourself with other people’s work?

8. Play video games

Guys, did you know that it takes like 100 hours to beat Fallout 4? I know, because I did it! #Talent
You can get so little work done when you’re taking care of your post apocalyptic community. Those people are having a hard time! You need to free the Commonwealth! Don’t be so selfish!

9. Pick up a random hobby

You know what you’ve never done before? Learned the guitar. You’ve always wanted to, but you just never did. When better to learn how to play then when you planned out time to write? I mean, the guitar that you bought all those years ago that you don’t know how to tune is RIGHT THERE. Live out your dreams bro and become a guitar rock star like you kind-of wanted to be ten years ago.

10. Write a blog post about how not to write instead of working on your pilot

Holy crap that’s a good idea. I need to get on that.


What I’m trying to say here is, DON’T GET WORK DONE. There are better ways to spend your time than following your dreams. I didn’t even get into how great baths are in a studio apartment.

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/52766811@N06/27918824411″>Ready</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a>